I can keep picking small fights, or brave the big one. Time to screw my courage. Or go down trying.
Gayle FormanSo, this is how it's become? This is how I've become? A walking contradiction? I'm surrounded by people and feel alone. I claim to crave a bit of normalcy but now that I have some, it's like I don't know what to do with it, I don't know how to be a normal person anymore.
Gayle FormanThen the musical instruments appeared. Dadโs snare drum from the house, Henryโs guitar from his car, Adamโs spare guitar from my room. Everyone was jamming together, singing songs: Dadโs songs, Adamโs songs, old Clash songs, old Wipers songs. Teddy was dancing around, the blond of his hair reflecting the golden flames. I remember watching it all and getting that tickling in my chest and thinking to myself: This is what happiness feels like.
Gayle FormanEven if you find him. Even if he didn't leave you on purpose, he can't possibly live up to the person you've built him into." It's not like the thought hasn't occurred to me. I get that the chances of finding him are small, but the chances of finding him as I remember him are even smaller. But I just keep going back to what my dad always says, about how when you lose something, you have to visualize the last place you had it. And I foundโand then lostโso many things in Paris.
Gayle Forman