When you walk through a bad neighborhood, you don't want a poodle by your side. You want a Rottweiler.

Television and comic books are, and continue to be, probably the biggest influence in my life. It's the biggest influence on everybody's life.

Men want success and sex. Women want everything.

Ladies, first and foremost: you're on your own. No more rules neatly laid out for you to follow. You have to make up YOUR OWN rules.

I'll get rid of the drug problem. The first drug dealer will be publicly executed in front of everybody and all of the sudden the rest of the drug dealers are going to go "Uh oh!" Watch how fast the drug problem disappears. If you use drugs, you're addicted and you steal something, you'll get sent off to the outback and to work camps and all of the sudden no drug addicts. See how simple that is? So simple.

Despite what your girlfriend may have told you, size is important, bigger is better.

I'd like to think that the boring lady who's talking to me now is a lot sexier and more interesting than the one who's doing NPR. You know, studious and reserved, and - I bet you're a lot of fun at a party.