But my doubt would not be overcome. Kierkegaard had declared that it was only to the consciousness of sin that Christianity was not horror or madness. For me it was sometimes both.

It gradually dawned upon me that there was no one more difficult to please than my mother.

A love for humanity came over me, and watered and fertilised the fields of my inner world which had been lying fallow, and this love of humanity vented itself in a vast compassion.

I was always hearing that I was pale and thin and small.

But my doubt would not be overcome. Kierkegaard had declared that it was only to the consciousness of sin that Christianity was not horror or madness. For me it was sometimes both.

On the whole, the world was friendly. It chiefly depended on whether one were good or not.

I admired in others the strength that I lacked myself.