Telling the truth is the funniest joke in the world.

No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious.

A veteran journalist has never had time to think twice before he writes.

When Satan makes impure verses, Allah sends a divine tune to cleanse them.

The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.

Go on writing plays, my boy, One of these days one of these London producers will go into his office and say to his secretary, "Is there a play from Shaw this morning?" and when she says, "No," he will say, "Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish." And that's your chance, my boy.

Blasphemy and sedition (meaning the truth about Church and State).