We all go about longing for love: it is the first need of our natures, the loudest cry of our hearts.

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking, and getting well hammered yourself.

A man is like a phonograph with half-a-dozen records. You soon get tired of them all; and yet you have to sit at table whilst he reels them off to every new visitor.

Oh, come! That boot is on the other leg. Why should you call me to account for eating decently? If I battened on the scorched corpses of animals, you might well ask me why I did that

The British are apt to make merits of their stupidities, and to represent their various incapacities as points of good breeding.

The British churchgoer prefers a severe preacher because he thinks a few home truths will do his neighbors no harm.