Independence? That's middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.

It's not that I'm so clever, it is that others are so stupid.

The British churchgoer prefers a severe preacher because he thinks a few home truths will do his neighbors no harm.

I assume that to prevent illness in later life, you should never have been born at all.

You must not suppose, because I am a man of letters, that I never tried to earn an honest living.

The English are not a very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle. He fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles; he bullies you on manly principles; he supports his king on loyal principles and cuts off his king's head on republican principles.