In the right key one can say anything. In the wrong key, nothing: the only delicate part is the establishment of the key.

Man is the only animal which esteems itself rich in proportion to the number and voracity of its parasites.

My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

People always get tired of one another. I grow tired of myself whenever I am left alone for ten minutes, and I am certain that I am fonder of myself than anyone can be of another person.

Every drunken skipper trusts to Providence. But one of the ways of Providence with drunken skippers is to run them on the rocks.

Some persons, by hating vice too much, come to love men too little. Hatred is self-punishment. Hatred is the cowards revenge for being intimidated.

What I say today everybody will say tomorrow, though they will not remember who put it into their heads. Indeed they will be right for I never remember who puts things into my head : it is the Zeitgeist.