Hell is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.

The problem with the press is that they can't tell the difference between a bicycle crash and the end of civilization.

No Englishman is ever fairly beaten

As well consult a butcher on the value of vegetarianism as a doctor on the worth of vaccination.

Those who understand the steam engine and the electric telegraph spend their lives in trying to replace them with something better.