My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

I assume that to prevent illness in later life, you should never have been born at all.

When you read a biography remember that the truth is never fit for publication.

If the English can survive their food, they can survive anything.

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

The medical profession (is) a conspiracy to hide its own shortcomings. No doubt the same may be said of all professions. They are all conspiracies against the laity... (U)ntil there is a practicable alternative to blind trust in the doctor, the truth about the doctor is so terrible that we dare not face it.