It is the inefficiency and sham of ... our schools ... that save us from being dashed on the rocks of false doctrine instead of drifting down the midstream of mere ignorance.

Very nice sort of place, Oxford, I should think, for people that like that sort of place.

A man learns to skate by staggering about and making a fool of himself. Indeed he progresses in all things by resolutely making a fool of himself.

I myself have been particularly careful never to say a civil word to the United States. I have scoffed at their inhabitants as a nation of villagers. I have defined the 100 % American as 99 % an idiot. And they adore me.

Whisky is liquid sunshine.

A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.

All problems are finally scientific problems.