Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.

There is nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school.

The truth is the one thing that nobody will believe.

Every doctor will allow a colleague to decimate a whole countryside sooner than violate the bond of professional etiquette by giving him away.

A modern gentleman [rich person] is necessarily the enemy of his country. Even in war he does not fight to defend it, but to prevent his power of preying on it from passing to a foreigner.

What the world calls originality is only an unaccustomed method of tickling it.