There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes superannuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures.

When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: he hasn't got any.

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income.

General consultant to mankind.

The pianoforte is the most important of all musical instruments; its invention was to music what the invention of printing was to poetry.

Modern poverty is not the poverty that was blest in the Sermon on the Mount.