I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

Everybody who does not live in a prostitute's bed and on a diet of cocaine snow is called an ascetic nowadays.

That is the injustice of a woman's lot. A woman has to bring up her children; and that means to restrain them, to deny them things they want, to set them tasks, to punish them when they do wrong, to do all the unpleasant things. And then the father, who has nothing to do but pet them and spoil them, comes in when all her work is done and steals their affection from her.

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman, but believing what he read made him mad.

Life is a first draft... with NO rewrite.

Vulgarity in a king flatters the majority of the nation.