I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.

The way to deal with worldly people is to frighten them by repeating their scandalous whisperings aloud.

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle. He fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles; he bullies you on manly principles; he supports his king on loyal principles and cuts off his king's head on republican principles.

When Satan makes impure verses, Allah sends a divine tune to cleanse them.

Life at its noblest leaves mere happiness far behind; and indeed cannot endure it. Happiness is not the object of life: life has no object: it is an end in itself; and courage consists in the readiness to sacrifice happiness for an intenser quality of life.

I never climbed any ladder: I have achieved eminence by sheer gravitation.

It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.