I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

If you lived in London, where the whole system is one of false good-fellowship, and you may know a man for twenty years without finding out that he hates you like poison, you would soon have your eyes opened. There we do unkind things in a kind way: we say bitter things in a sweet voice: we always give our friends chloroform when we tear them to pieces.

Where there is no knowledge ignorance calls itself science.

I choose not to make a graveyard of my body for the rotting corpses of dead animals.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

Nothing remains beautiful and interesting except thought, because the thought is the life.