He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

When you prevent me from doing anything I want to do, that is persecution; when I prevent you from doing anything you want to do, that is law, order, and morals.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the substitution of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete fictitious for the contemporary real.

A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Spend all you have before you die, and do not outlive yourself.