The greatest evils and the worst of crimes is poverty; our first duty, a duty to which every other consideration should be sacrificed, is not to be poor.

The ideal love affair should be conducted by post.

Marriage is good enough for the lower classes: they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.

You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub.

You have nothing to do but mention the quantum theory, and people will take your voice for the voice of science, and belive anything.

There is nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school.

Morals are a luxury of the rich.