You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub.

I can't talk religion to a man with bodily hunger in his eyes.

No king on earth is as safe in his job as a Trade Union official. There is only one thing that can get him sacked; and that is drink. Not even that, as long as he doesn't actually fall down.

You have nothing to do but mention the quantum theory, and people will take your voice for the voice of science, and belive anything.

Geniuses are horrid, intolerant, easily offended, sleeplessly self-conscious men, who expect their wives to be angels with no further business in life than to pet and worship their husbands. Even at the best they are not comfortable men to live with; and a perfect husband is one who is perfectly comfortable to live with.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.