I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

The notion that persons should be safe from extermination as long as they do not commit willful murder, or levy war against the Crown, or kidnap, or throw vitriol, is not only to limit social responsibility unnecessarily, and to privilege the large range of intolerable misconduct that lies outside them, but to divert attention from the essential justification for extermination, which is always incorrigible social incompatibility and nothing else.

If the announcer can produce the impression that he is a gentleman, he may pronounce as he pleases.

The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

Gentle Jesus, meek and mild' is a snivelling modern invention, with no warrant in the gospels.