Shall I turn up the light for you? No, give me deeper darkness. Money is not made in the light.

Money is indeed the most important thing in the world; and all sound and successful personal and national morality should have this fact for its basis.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

Woman reduces us all to the common denominator.

It is not pleasure that makes life worth living. It is life that makes pleasure worth having.

During the last considerable epidemic at the turn of the century, I was a member of the Health Committee of London Borough Council, and I learned how the credit of vaccination is kept up statistically by diagnosing all the revaccinated cases (of smallpox) as pustular eczema, varioloid or what not---except smallpox.

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.