Very few people can afford to be poor.

The unconscious self is the real genius. Your breathing goes wrong the moment your conscious self meddles with it.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

Without music we shall surely perish of drink, morphia, and all sorts of artificial exaggerations of the cruder delights of the senses.

If you can’t appreciate what you’ve got, you’d better get what you can appreciate.

Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.

I lay my eternal curse on whomsoever shall now or at any time hereafter make schoolbooks of my works and make me hated as Shakespeare is hated. My plays were not designed as instruments of torture. All the schools that lust after them get this answer, and will never get any other.