My schooling did me a great deal of harm and no good whatever; it was simply dragging a child's soul through the dirt.

Here there is no hope, and consequently no duty, no work, nothing to be gained by praying, nothing to be lost by doing what you like. Hell, in short, is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself.

My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably.

Gardening is the only unquestionably useful job.

The politician who once had to learn to flatter Kings has now to learn how to fascinate, amuse, coax, humbug, frighten, or otherwise strike the fancy of the electorate.

We want a few mad people now. See where the sane ones have landed us!

The great dramatist has something better to do than to amuse either himself or his audience. He has to interpret life.