My way of joking is to tell the truth

Would the world ever have been made if its maker had been afraid of making trouble?Making life means making trouble. There’s only one way of escaping trouble; and that’s killing things.

Women have been a ghastly nuisance in my life.

Truth telling is not compatible with the defence of the realm.

We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.

If 'Pygmalion' is not good enough for your friends with its own verbal music, their talent must be altogether extraordinary.

Jesus remains unshaken as the practical man; and we stand exposed as the fools, the blunderers, the unpractical visionaries.