Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the constancy of its vows are the very people who declare that if the chain were broken and the prisoners left free to choose, the whole social fabric would fly asunder. You cannot have the argument both ways. If the prisoner is happy, why lock him in? If he is not, why pretend that he is?

I never thought much of the courage of a lion tamer. Inside the cage he is at least safe from people.

In a hospital they throw you out into the street before you are half cured, but in a nursing home they don't let you out till you are dead.

Some people look at the world and say 'why?' Some people look at the world and say 'why not?'

The heretic is always better dead. And mortal eyes cannot distinguish the saint from the heretic.

People always get tired of one another. I grow tired of myself whenever I am left alone for ten minutes, and I am certain that I am fonder of myself than anyone can be of another person.

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them.