Time enough to think of the future when you haven't any future to think of.

It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.

There are two things necessary to Salvation.... Money and gunpowder.

The most revolutionary invention of the Nineteenth Century was the artificial sterilization of marriage.

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course.

Don't think you can frighten me by telling me that I am alone. France is alone. God is alone. And the loneliness of God is His strength.

They tell me that So-and-So, who does not write prefaces, is no charlatan. Well, I am. I first caught the ear of the British public on a cart in Hyde Park, to the blaring of brass bands,and this . . . because . . . I am a natural-born mountebank.