Women are called womanly only when they regard themselves as existing solely for the use of men.

Every drunken skipper trusts to Providence. But one of the ways of Providence with drunken skippers is to run them on the rocks.

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee.

Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

A dinner! How horrible! I am to be made the pretext for killing all those wretched animals and birds, and fish! Thank you for nothing. Now if it were to be a fast instead of a feast; say a solemn three days' abstention from corpses in my honour, I could at least pretend to believe that it was disinterested. Blood sacrifices are not in my line

Female murderers get sheaves of offers of marriage.

Consistency is the enemy of enterprise, just as symmetry is the enemy of art.