Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.

When you want to put something into your part that is not in the play, you must ask the author-or some other author-to lead up to the interpolation for you. Never forget that the effect of a line may depend not on its delivery, but on something said earlier in the play, either by somebody else or by yourself, and that if you change it, it may be necessary to change the whole first act as well.

Our lives are shaped not as much by our experiences as by our expectations.

All great art and literature is propaganda.

What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.

If you lived in London, where the whole system is one of false good-fellowship, and you may know a man for twenty years without finding out that he hates you like poison, you would soon have your eyes opened. There we do unkind things in a kind way: we say bitter things in a sweet voice: we always give our friends chloroform when we tear them to pieces.