I was in for 10 hours and had 40 pints - beating my previous record by 20 minutes

I want to be remembered for my football and the pleasure I gave people.

Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny color.

If you'd given me the choice of going out and beating four men and smashing a goal in from thirty yards against Liverpool or going to bed with Miss World, it would have been a difficult choice. Luckily, I had both.

Football is a sad game.

If I had been born ugly, you would have never heard of Pele

Me and a mate picked up two darling birds and they took us back to their flat. I went into the bedroom with my bird and she started getting undressed. I was that drunk I was standing there wondering how to get undressed without letting go of the award. I went to sit on the bed, missed it by four feet and ended up lying on the floor. I remember the bird looking down at me, and saying, ‘Some player of the year.’ Then I fell asleep. I woke up still clutching my award and staggered out of the flat. I hadn’t a bloody clue where I was.