Women don't like men who know they're good looking. They'd much prefer a man who doesn't know he's good looking.

I'm my own doctor. I have a group of people who call me up on a weekly basis. I'm a 'doctor' without a license.

I've been in the sun most of my life. I've gone to skin doctors and they'll say to you, 'We should remove this because it's pre-cancerous,' and I'll say, 'Explain pre-cancerous to me.' I'll listen for about twenty minutes and I'll say excuse me, 'Is pre-cancerous like pre-dead? So you're saying it could turn into cancer but it's not cancer?'

There came [a script called] “Dracula Sucks.” Now, I liked “Dracula Sucks,” but we gotta change [the title]. They said, “If you like that, you’re going to like this: ‘Zorro the Gay Blade.’” I decided I was going to go out and raise the money and develop my own projects. And that’s what I did. I made “Love at First Bite” and I made “Zorro the Gay Blade.” [Script rewriter Hal Dresner] and I put together “Zorro” in about eight weeks.

He caught that with the outside of his instep.

I consume an enormous number of books, but they're always on a particular subject because I'm obsessive.

Here's Henry, trying to burst the bubble still further, if indeed it needs more bursting