One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!

Life is moments going by, but if you don't grab them, they're gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.

I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.

I look at movies, unfortunately, and I still see a lot of movies [lacking diversity].

Look, I made a commitment to corn 17 years ago. Sure, I'm a man. I like to go to a barbecue and see beans that I like: baked beans, red beans, black beans, big plump garbanzos. But in the end, I always come home to my sweet, sweet corn.