Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science, their labour bore fruit.

The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today.

Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents.

On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally worshipped as in ancient Egypt.

The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up.