Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

I asked many friends if Australian anti-intellectualism was still a living force and they all told me it was. If you are above average intelligence, hide this embarrassing fact.

It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy outside. 'Go and look at a railway station,' I was told, 'and you'll be horrified.' I went and was horrified; horrified by the cleanliness of the place.

Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents.

On the Continent there is one topic which should be avoided-the weather; in England, if you do not repeat the phrase "Lovely day, isn't it?" at least two hundred times a day, you are considered a bit dull.

Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.