Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

Australia objects to the mini-skirt not on moral but on economic grounds. Australians are no prudes and the lovely, healthy, sporty Australian girls have no reason to hide their knees and thighs. However, the mini-skirt is disastrous for the wool-trade.

The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.