When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused".

The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.

English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.

In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, "I don't object, you know." If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: "I rather fancy you, in fact.

Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.

What beefsteak is to Argentina, flamenco to Spain, cool reserve and self-control in all situations to an Englishman, what vodka is to a Russian and beer to a Bavarian, what money is to a Swiss, that is outdoor-life to an Australian. It is a noble mania, better than vodka, better than cool reserve, better than money.

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.