People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.

On the Continent there is one topic which should be avoided-the weather; in England, if you do not repeat the phrase "Lovely day, isn't it?" at least two hundred times a day, you are considered a bit dull.

In the field of snobbery, Australia is an underdeveloped country; even a few British ex-colonies, regarded as under developed in all other respects, could export a great deal of snobbery to Australia and still have enough to spare for their own, internal needs.

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, "I don't object, you know." If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: "I rather fancy you, in fact.

To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.

The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead.