The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour.

You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if you are tired; if anybody thinks that you might be tired; if you are nervous; if you are gay; before you go out; if you are out; if you have just returned home; if you feel like it; if you do not feel like it; if you have had no tea for some time; if you have just had a cup.

In the field of snobbery, Australia is an underdeveloped country; even a few British ex-colonies, regarded as under developed in all other respects, could export a great deal of snobbery to Australia and still have enough to spare for their own, internal needs.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

There are many non-intellectual countries; Australia is one of the few anti-intellectual ones.

English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists.

Japan is, you often feel, an improved version of the United States.