I'd like to start a religion. That's where the money is.

If you have no money, men won't care for you, women won't love you; won't, that is, care for you or love you the last little bit that matters.

A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, but then fail all the more completely because he drinks.

In so far as it takes effect at all, pacifist propaganda can only be effective against those countries where a certain amount of freedom of speech is still permitted; in other words it is helpful to totalitarianism.

No man should be allowed to be the President who does not understand hogs, or hasn't been around a manure pile.

Mankind is not likely to salvage civilization unless he can evolve a system of good and evil which is independent of heaven and hell.

I'm fat, but I'm thin inside. Has it ever struck you that there's a thin man inside every fat man, just as they say there's a statue inside every block of stone?