I think what I do is positive, in its own way.
Every show could be the last one.
My mind's a machine gun, my body's the bullets and the audience is the target.
My principal once told me that I was a penny waiting for change. But I suspect that I irritated him probably because I was making more money than he was.
I believe you can make forces of good and evil work for you, to get what you want.
It's not so much wanting to die, but controlling that moment, choosing your own way.