Jesus promised his disciples three things—that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble.

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

The wise old fairy tales never were so silly as to say that the prince and the princess lived peacefully ever afterwards. The fairy tales said that the prince and princess lived happily ever afterwards; and so they did. They lived happily, although it is very likely that from time to time they threw the furniture at each other.

The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. Their top-heavy dignity is more touching than any humility; their solemnity gives us more hope for all things than a thousand carnivals of optimism; their large and lustrous eyes seem to hold all the stars in their astonishment; their fascinating absence of nose seems to give to us the most perfect hint of the humour that awaits us in the kingdom of heaven.

The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.

The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels a profound sense of gratitude and has no one to thank.

Every time a man knocks on a brothel door, he is really knocking for God