Freethinkers are occasionally thoughtful, though never free.

The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.

In the fairy tale, an incomprehensible happiness rests upon an incomprehensible condition. A box is opened and all evils fly out. A word is forgotten and cities perish. A lamp is lit and love flies away. An apple is eaten and the hope of God is gone.

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

When people impute special vices to the Christian Church, they seem entirely to forget that the world (which is the only other thing there is) has these vices much more. The Church has been cruel; but the world has been much more cruel. The Church has plotted; but the world has plotted much more. The Church has been superstitious; but it has never been so superstitious as the world is when left to itself.

Women prefer to talk in twos, while men prefer to talk in threes.

Like every book I never wrote, it is by far the best book I have ever written.