Just the other day in the Underground I enjoyed the pleasure of offering my seat to three ladies.

It seems to me,' said the other, 'That you are simply seeking a pretext to insult the Marquis.' By George!' said Syme facing round and looking at him, 'What a clever chap you are!

What we suffer from today is humility in the wrong place...The old humility was a spur that prevented a man from stopping; not a nail in his boot that prevented him from going on. For the old humility made a man doubtful about his efforts, which made him work harder. But the new humility makes a man doubtful about his aims, which will make him stop working altogether.

A nation that has nothing but its amusements will not be amused for long.

My attitude toward progress has passed from antagonism to boredom. I have long ceased to argue with people who prefer Thursday to Wednesday because it is Thursday.

Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for ignorance.

In a world where everything is ridiculous, nothing can be ridiculed. You cannot unmask a mask.