Moral issues are always terribly complex for someone without principles.

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today all the exhilaration of a vice.

The Catholic Church is like a thick steak, a glass of red wine, and a good cigar.

Then I only wondered who put the toys in the stocking; now I wonder who put the stocking by the bed, and the bed in the room, and the room in the house, and the house on the planet, and the great planet in the void.

Freethinkers are occasionally thoughtful, though never free.

The most valuable book we can read, about countries we have visited, is that which recalls to us something that we did notice, but did not notice that we noticed.