Dipsomaniac and the abstainer are not only both mistaken, but they both make the same mistake. They both regard wine as a drug and not as a drink.

The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man.

If a rhinoceros were to enter this restaurant now, there is no denying he would have great power here. But I should be the first to rise and assure him that he had no authority whatever.

Only friendliness produces friendship. And we must look far deeper into the soul of man for the thing that produces friendliness.

Nine times out of ten it is the coarse word that condemns an evil, and the refined word that excuses it.

Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.

But pure wit is akin to Puritanism; to the perfect and painful consciousness of the final fact in the universe. Very briefly, the man who sees the consistency in things is a wit - and a Calvinist. The man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist - and a Catholic.