I have discovered the secret formula for a carefree old age: iycri = fi (if you can't recall it, forget it).

TV—a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville. We call it a medium, because nothing's well done.

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

The best cure for hypochondria is to forget about your body and get interested in somebody else's.

I keep reading between the lies.

They call television a medium because nothing's well done.

Familiarity breeds attempt. Time wounds all heels. I went down on the Lower East Side today and saw all those Old Testament houses. We're all cremated equal. We're insufferable friends. I've been working my head to the bone.