Are there Martians out there? I haven't got a clue. Is there life out there? I have no idea.

Fitness is a curve. You can be Lance Armstrong, or you can be really out of shape at the opposite end. People enter the curve wherever they are and then they can move up the curve, by better nutrition and better exercise.

Sometimes to go forward you've got to go to the depths of your own personal despair and claw yourself back. From that point, no matter what happens, you know you can do it.

People talk about how you make team spirit - is it golf days or going out drinking together? That doesn't count. When you drink, you just tell lies to each other anyway and talk rubbish.

I'm not saying you have to be married to be a good footballer. I'm just saying it felt strange to come to a club where there are only three members of the first-team squad that are married. You need responsibility in life.

The world looks a totally different place after two wins. I can even enjoy watching Blind Date or laugh at Noel's House Party.

Paul Scholes has been the best England midfield player for 30-odd years. You'd probably have to go back to Bobby Charlton to find someone who could do as much as Scholes. When the ball arrives at his feet he could tell you where every player on that pitch is at that moment. His awareness is superb.