The critics are like tourists who return from a trip saying they've "done" Machu Picchu: "Okay, we've done magical realism," so now we can throw it out.

For true happiness, it is not enough to be successful oneself . . . one's friends must fail.

Many human beings enjoy sexual relations with their own sex; many don't; many respond to both. This plurality is part of our nature and not worth fretting about.

The United States is my subject, but as Hawthorne once wrote, "the United States are suited for many admirable purposes, but not to live in."

I'd still like to be the President, of course, and I think the best way to do that would be to raise an army and seize the Capital. This strikes me as true democracy.

People have forgotten the effects of prohibition. We have become the United Statesof Amnesia.

There is only one party in the United States, the Property Party … and it has two right wings: Republican and Democrat.