For true happiness, it is not enough to be successful oneself . . . one's friends must fail.

Since no one can ever know for certain whether or not his own view of life is the correct one, it is absolutely impossible for him to know if someone else's is the wrong one.

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

In Southern Europe, we have, of course, very bad governments.

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

If you want to rise in politics in the United States, there is one subject you must stay away from, and that is politics.

Although drugs are immoral and must be kept from the young, thousands of schools pressure parents to give the drug Ritalin to any lively child who may, sensibly, show signs of boredom in his classroom. Ritalin renders the child docile if not comatose. Side effects? "Stunted growth, facial tics, agitation and aggression, insomnia, appetite loss, headaches, stomach pains and seizures." Marijuana would be far less harmful.