Gene told me the next day that I got it wrong. But he was not in a taxi, after an evening of total sensory overload, with the most beautiful woman in the world. I believed I did well. I detected the trick question. I wanted Rosie to like me, and I remembered her passionate statement about men treating women as objects. She was testing to see if I saw her as an object or as a person. Obviously the correct answer was the latter. ‘I haven’t really noticed,’ I told the most beautiful woman in the world.

But why, why, why can't people just say what they mean?

Restaurants are minefields for the socially inept

Research consistently shows that the risks to health outweigh the benefits of drinking alcohol. My argument is that the benefits to my mental health justify the risks.

Fortunately, I am accustomed to creating amusement inadvertently.

I set out to write a screenplay but, since my early 20s, had dreamed of writing a novel.

What would you like?" "A skinny decaf latte." This is a ridiculous form of coffee, but I did not point it out.