Al Gore completely lied about climate change in an effort to make a lot of money.

I love it when the market reacts naturally to events. It's like a cat coughing up a fur ball.

There are always gonna be people that are gonna be offended about something. This will never end.

Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to be an idiot. A jackass. It's cool to be a failure, as long as your failure is the basis for a reality show.

You should try to get fired once in a while. It's good for you.

The metric system was designed to get people to enter charity runs.Do you think you would go run a 3.1 mile race? No, but if somebody says, hey, 5 km. You go, 5km sounds pretty impressive.

The joy of hate reflects people who get off pretending to hate something, or hate you, in order to score political points. I call them the 'tolerati' - you know, a group of people who claim to be tolerant, except when they run into someone who disagrees with them.