Some things get better with age. And then there's Madonna.

I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.

I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.

Whenever there's an act of terror, its guns, its Christians, it's republicans, but the FBI can't say Islamism because it's too politically incorrect. And nobody wants to lose their job, it comes from the top. I think they lack the manpower to do their jobs. It's not about changing the FBI; it's about changing the way they do business.

So the villains aren't gay-hating Islamists or women killing tyrants, but actually us: an American Congress bent on the apocalypse. Don't we understand? Iranians love their children too.

Hollywood's schizophrenia over guns is matched only by their attitude toward taxes. Ever wonder why they film in Vancouver so often? It ain't for the beaches, I can tell you.

Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.