The media is Obama's scandal condom.

Paternity, paternity. Let's think about this. This discriminates against the childless. So you get a year off because you produce a brat. If anything if you have a child you should work more because your brat's going to annoy me at the restaurants.

There's an argument that celebrities stop growing mentally the moment they reach stardom and then they just - everything goes away. I think that's true.

I want to make a positive point of Ikea. It makes income inequality a minor distraction.

If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.

Planned Parenthood's entire existence is basically based on keeping people in the dark through euphemism. You don't call it genocide, you call it reproductive health. So that's why Planned Parenthood has - nobody really thought.

A funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them.