I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.

The inevitability of abortion. But I refuse to accept the amoral consequences that are even far worse than that, which is harvesting them because we decided that as an adult society, we can use children to make our lives better, if you seek the reverse.

I think the cult of personality is the thing that people find a real problem with. It's hard to unify behind something that is unknown. I know more about black holes than I do about Donald Trump's ever-changing news. So I don't blame - like, I don't blame conservatives going, like "Hey, this is something that I believe in. And I don't know what he believes." But that could change. That could change in four months.

Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white.

So the villains aren't gay-hating Islamists or women killing tyrants, but actually us: an American Congress bent on the apocalypse. Don't we understand? Iranians love their children too.

Politicians, you know Harry Reid hates you. We get it. But when somebody from "The New York Times" or "The Washington Post" is saying this stuff, that's different, that's offensive, that's wrong.

Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.