In the hands of fiends, guns will kill you. In your hands, they protect against such fiends.

You should try to get fired once in a while. It's good for you.

The metric system was designed to get people to enter charity runs.Do you think you would go run a 3.1 mile race? No, but if somebody says, hey, 5 km. You go, 5km sounds pretty impressive.

If America was a house, the Left would root for the termites.

ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.

Private citizens and companies are always seen as evil and greedy, because they want to profit. But the government picks your pocket any chance it can get, but they're never called greedy.