The townspeople are morons, yokels, peasants and genus homo boobiensis...surrounded by gaping primates from the upland vallies.

Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong.

It is more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents.

Watching two women kiss is like watching two prizefighters shake hands.

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.

What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense of humor

Human life is basically a comedy. Even its tragedies often seem comic to the spectator, and not infrequently they actually have comic touches to the victim. Happiness probably consists largely in the capacity to detect and relish them. A man who can laugh, if only at himself, is never really miserable.